Kissing Cousins
A Short Story By Lo Brewer
Two Women About to Kiss Under Fairy String Lights © Sharon McCutcheon/Pixels
Ariel remembered the last time she saw Lizzie as if it were yesterday. Ariel’s uncle Frank, his new wife Colleen and her teenage daughter Lizzie came to stay with Ariel’s family during the summer of 2000. Ariel was 14 and Lizzie 15. They were fast friends. Though they weren’t related by blood, they became something closer than the binds that come with familial ties.
At the end of the summer, the three were gone and Ariel’s thoughts were filled with nothing but Lizzie. But as the old saying goes: Out of sight, out of mind. So Lizzie eventually faded from Ariel’s mind. And after a while, it as if that summer never happened.
Two days before marrying Chad, Ariel walked into Barney’s, the local watering hole where all important events in Beverly residents’ lives were held. That night it would be Ariel’s bachelorette party. She walked through the bar to the back room, which had been rented out by her sister and maid of honor, Carol.
Carol was in event planner mode. She was hanging up the last touches of the décor when she heard her sister walk in.
“Damn it Ariel! I’m not done yet. Jesus do you have to be early to everything?” Carol asked.
“Most people would think of promptness as a quality to be praised. But not you dear sister. You yell at me for being on time.”
“Actually Ar, I was yelling at you for being early. But whatever. Happy bachelorette party!” Carol said.
“That’s not actually a thing people say. But thanks Carol. This is fantastic,” Ariel said looking around. “You’ve somehow managed to class the place up a bit.”
“Yea, I’m amazing. I know. Listen, I know you were pretty explicit about not wanting this to be a surprise, and it’s not. But there are a few tiny surprises we’ve managed to include throughout the night. The first should be here shortly.”
“Carol, I swear if you have some cheesy strippers or some other bullshit I’m going to fucking kill you.”
“Oh, nothing like that,” Carol said with a snicker. “Now put on this bride crown, put on a smile and shut the fuck up.”
Ariel donned her crown and walked over to the small bar in the back of the room. DeeDee, one of Ariel’s favorite bartenders, was manning the station.
“What can I get the bride-to-be?” DeeDee asked.
“I think I’ll start with wine.”
“But end up on Jack...got it,” DeeDee said as she opened a bottle of cabernet.
Ariel was only able to take one sip before people started to show up for her party. Women started pouring into the room and it was filled with squeals and laughter for at least 30 minutes before Carol was able to get the group to quiet down long enough to give them a run down of the night’s activities. She was nearly done when she was interrupted by the last party guest to arrive.
“Lizzie’s in the house! Let the games begin!” Lizzie announced.
“And here is our first surprise!” Carol said. “Everyone, this is our cousin Lizzie! Ariel and she used to be thick as thieves. I’m sure y’all will love her to pieces. She’s a riot!”
Lizzie made her way through the crowd, introducing herself to people, taking sips from their drinks, and generally being the fearless, bad ass girl that Ariel had remembered her to be. Meanwhile, Ariel stood frozen, gripping her wine glass so tight it’s a wonder it didn’t shatter in her grasp.
When Lizzie finally made it across the room the two women stood for a moment taking each other in. Lizzie always looked like she’d come off a tour or a cross country motorcycle ride or a bank heist. In her tight jeans, a cut off Led Zeppelin t-shirt and stiletto booties she had an air of trouble and rock n roll.
“El, you look like a million fuckin’ bucks. Put down that pussy ass wine and give me a hug.”
Lizzie was the only one who’d ever called her El. Ariel had forgotten how much she loved the nickname. She put down her wine and held her arms open. Having Lizzie’s curls pressed against her face for the first time in almost 20 years sent an odd shock through Ariel’s body. She pushed back from the hug. Her apprehension didn’t go unnoticed by Lizzie who leaned forward and whispered, “You always were a nervous Nelly, El. Just relax. Tonight’s all about you. Have fun for once.”
“I don’t know about the rest of you,” Lizzie said turning to the rest of the women. “But I’m ready for a shot. Hey sweetheart, think you can whip up a round for us.”
“I sure can. What’s your poison?” DeeDee asked.
“I’m not particular when it comes to poison…it all does the same job right? How about you surprise me?”
“You got it.”
Ariel spent the first half of the night avoiding Lizzie. Her presence made Ariel nervous. When they parted ways so many years ago, Ariel missed Lizzie so much that it hurt. She was eventually able to push the hurt deep down inside and move on. But having her here, so suddenly, with no warning or time to prepare, she felt blindsided. The shots that she continued to drink helped to dull the pain and confusion. But the anxiety wouldn’t completely go away until Lizzie left.
“It’s time for some games!” Carol yelled out. “Now who wants to be first up for a game of dick toss?”
Everyone except for Lizzie and Ariel raised their hands. While Carol explained the game, which involved one person strapping a plastic penis to her head, while several others threw rings at it, Lizzie sauntered over to Ariel.
“I was never really into dicks…tossing them, catching them, or doing anything else with them to be honest with you,” Lizzie said as she nonchalantly reached over the bar close enough to kiss DeeDee and grabbed a bottle of whisky. “And as I recall El, neither were you.”
“Lizzie, let’s not…”
“Don’t worry kiddo. Your secret is safe with me. Although, I’ve got to be honest, when I heard you were getting married I was a little shocked. And then when I heard it was to a dude…well…”
“Lizzie, we were kids. We didn’t know what we were doing. We’re older now, different. I’m different.”
“I can see that. You were always a little prissy. But you’ve really amped it up. I mean you’re wearing pearls for fuck’s sake,” Lizzie said with a laugh, which made Ariel frown. “But that’s what I always liked about you. You were dainty and girly. Just pink and frills soft and sweet all over the place. You were everything I wasn’t. Everything I could never be.”
“Oh, shut up. You act like I wasn’t scared of my own shadow, and nervous and anxious all the time. I’m so thankful for my therapist and a steady supply of valium. Having health insurance is one of the best parts about being a grown up.”
“Insurance! Ha! What’s that like?” Lizzie joked.
“Somehow it doesn’t surprise me that you don’t know what it’s like to be a grown up. What are you doing with yourself these days?”
“A little of this, a little of that,” Lizzie said taking another swig from the whisky bottle she took from DeeDee. “I used to DJ. But I was moving around a lot and it was hard to keep lugging my equipment everywhere. Occasionally I’m a roadie. But mostly I’m a bartender. The tips are good. I save up for a few months then travel. It’s not for everyone. But I like it. What have you been up to besides being an adult person and pretending to be straight?”
“Jesus Christ Lizzie, let it go,” Ariel said with a huff. “But to answer your question, guess I’ve been busy working. You know, just trying to move up at the firm. That’s where I met Chad. And he’s amazing if you must know.”
“Chad, talk about a name that reeks of white privilege.”
“Actually, Chad is an African American.”
“Wooow, well good for you, you’ve found the whitest black man in America. I’m sure your parents love him.”
“They do as a matter of fact. They love him way more than they ever loved you,” Ariel said. But the second it came out of her mouth she realized she didn’t mean it. Lizzie took another swig of whisky and joined the other women in the dick toss game.
The summer that Frank, Colleen and Lizzie stayed with Ariel’s family was the best summer of her life. Ariel has never been around a girl like Lizzie. At the time, she only had a few friends, and they were all about as vanilla as she. They did as they were told. They didn’t cause waves. They got good grades. They were good girls. But Lizzie, wasn’t a good girl. Lizzie was different.
Lizzie spent most of her childhood in the Riverdale section of Chicago. Colleen often had trouble finding work, like everyone else in their neighborhood. But she was determined to get off public assistance. She went to every job fair she heard of. It was at one of these job fairs that she met Ariel’s uncle, Frank. Frank had been fired more times than he could remember. And bouncing back was becoming harder and harder for him. He’d always been the black sheep of the family. He was forced to live in the shadow of his brother Graham (Ariel’s father) who was smart, charming and had money oozing out of his pores. Graham also didn’t have an occasional drug habit to keep him down.
Colleen and Frank took an instant liking to each other and were married only a few weeks after first meeting. When Colleen heard that Frank had family that lived in Beverly, one of the best areas in Chicago, she suggested he set aside his pride and ask for help. Graham grudgingly agreed to allow Frank, his new wife, and his stepdaughter stay with his family with the stipulation that Frank promise to go to NA meetings daily and to look for legitimate work. Frank was determined to not screw this up. He agreed. And a few days after the school year ended, he, Colleen and Lizzie were moving into the Shepherd household.
That summer Lizzie taught Ariel everything about being a bad girl. She taught her how to steal and not get caught. She taught her how to smoke cigarettes. She even managed to sniff out a weed dealer with in 24 hours of touching down in Beverly.
They spent all their time together. They told each other everything. And when Ariel revealed that she’d never kissed a boy, Lizzie quickly retorted, “Well have you ever kissed a girl?”
“What?! No! Why would I kiss a girl?”
“Because it’s just as fun. Come on I’ll show you,” Lizzie said patting the space on the bottom bunk next to her.
“Lizzie, I don’t like girls. Besides you’re my cousin.”
“Don’t knock it ‘til you’ve tried it. Also, we’re totally not even related. My mom is married to your uncle. Big difference.”
Lizzie stared at Ariel waiting for her to traverse the room. She refused to take her eyes off of her. Meanwhile Ariel looked everywhere but in Lizzie’s direction. She took several minutes but some how made the long trip, all of ten steps from the doorway to the bed.
“So now what?” Ariel finally said after what seemed like an eternity of silence.
“Close your eyes,” Lizzie said. And after Ariel complied, Lizzie leaned over and kissed her softly on the lips.
“That’s it?” Ariel asked.
“For today it is. Lesson one: How to give a proper peck. I need to start you off slow. Besides, if you don’t get the basics, you’ll screw up the really complicated stuff.”
“But I know how to give a quick peck. I kiss my parents all the time.”
“Sure, on the cheek. And they’re your parents so it’s not like you’re kissing someone you think is hot. When you kiss someone you like, it’s different. It’s supposed to be soft and sweet and make you feel warm inside, even if it’s just a little peck. Sometimes, you end up with a really shitty kissing partner, usually boys, who will smash their lips into yours or somehow manage to get spit on you even with their mouth closed. It’s awful.”
“So you do only like girls?” Ariel asked.
“I like everyone. Some boys are pretty good at kissing…and other stuff. But don’t worry about that now. We’ve got all summer to get you ready for high school,” Lizzie said.
That peck was the start of a summer of awakening for Ariel. They shared three months of togetherness without interruption from any adults. Both sets of parents were either at work, in the case of Graham and Lynnette, or looking for work, in the case of Frank and Colleen. Carol wasn’t around either. She’d stayed at Northwestern to retake a few summer classes after a disastrous Freshman year.
Ariel made herself climax for the first time with coaching from Lizzie. She was so startled by the sensation that she started crying.
“Am I dying?” she asked through a tear-filled lens.
“No dummy, that nifty button there is called a clit and what you just did is called coming. Jesus have you NEVER watched Cinemax?” Lizzie said.
“What?”
“Nevermind El, sheesh.”
After a few weeks of practicing on each other, the Lizzie thought Ariel was ready to try out some techniques on one of the Jones twins across the street. They invited the boys over for a makeout session that was disguised as an afternoon of pizza and movies.
Sitting on opposite couches the two pairs went at it. Johnnie Jones was an alright kisser, Ariel thought. But he was no Lizzie. She didn’t get to find out if he had any other skills because he erupted all over her favorite romper as soon as her hand grazed him. It must be true that twins are n sync because just seconds later, Lizzie had a similar mess to deal with. The boys barely said goodbyes and ran out of Ariel’s basement.
“THAT, was disgusting,” Ariel said as she slipped out of her romper. She held her hand out for Lizzie to give her the tank and shorts she was wearing, then threw all the clothes in the washer.
“Well, at least they left us all the pizza!” Lizzie said. She seemed completely unphased by the incident.
There were no more practice sessions with boys for the rest of the summer. Lizzie suggested maybe going to hang out by the baseball field where a lot of the junior high school boys were. But Ariel adamantly refused. She knew that after he tussle with Johnnie Jones she didn’t want to practice with any more boys. She didn’t want to practice with any other girls. She just wanted to be with Lizzie.
Over the next two hours several more games were played and several more shots were taken. By the time the party was winding down, everyone was significantly soused. And Ariel finally had enough liquid courage in her to walk over to Lizzie and apologize.
“Say Lizzie, can I bum a smoke?” Ariel asked.
“I don’t see why not,” Lizzie replied. The twins left through the side door that lead to the alley next to Barney’s.
“I’m a horrible person. I treated you like shit when you’re only here to wish me well. I should be ashamed of myself,” Ariel said.
“All these things are true.”
“And I’m sorry. Think you can forgive me?”
“Eh, I guess. You’ve been kinda shitty to me since I walked through the door. But I did sorta show up unannounced after like 20 years. So I’d say we’re even.”
“How did Carol find you anyway?” Ariel asked.
“Fucking Facebook man. She looked up my mom and my mom gave her my cell. I almost didn’t even answer. But I’m glad I did. When she told me about you and the wedding, well I just had to come see for myself. Besides, I missed you. I haven’t stopped thinking about you all these years.”
“Me too. I was so mad when you left.”
“Dude, I was a kid. I didn’t have any say in it. When Frank got that oil rig job down in Texas we had to move. All that for him to just dump my mom anyway.”
“I’m not saying it was your fault. It just hurt so bad. We were like the same person for a whole summer. Then half of my body was ripped from me for what I thought would be forever. I…I loved you Lizzie. Love, I love you. The shit never went away,” Ariel said before pitching her cigarette into a puddle. She grabbed Lizzie’s face with both hands and kissed her.
“El, you’re not going to do this,” Lizzie said.
“Do what? Do what I’ve been waiting my whole life to do? I want to live, to stop following the rules, to let things be messy for once. I want to be with you!”
“El, you’re not going to throw your entire life away because you had too much whiskey. I love you kid. I always have and always will. But you’re going to marry Brad…”
“Chad…”
“Right, you’re going to marry Chad, and make partner at the firm, and have babies, and live your perfect life. And you’re gonna forget me. And I’m letting you know that I’m okay with it. Now go back in there and eat a slice of that dick cake and tell Carol I said thanks for the invite.”
“But where are you going?”
“I always know when I’ve outstayed my welcome. I’m gonna get outta here. Just remember, messy isn’t for you, perfect is. Go live your perfect life babe. Leave the messy to me.” Lizzie still had a bottle of Jack Daniels in her hand as she walked down out of Ariel’s life for a second time.
Two weeks after the wedding Ariel and Chad were still sorting through gifts.
“Hey Honey, do you know who this is from? There’s no card with it,” Chad said.
“What is it?” Ariel asked.
“I dunno. But it looks like a bottle of Jack Daniels filled with Hershey’s kisses. What a weird gift. Ugh, and it’s sticky too. I bet they drank it and then stuffed it in the same night. Didn’t even try to wash it out. This is messy,” Chad said with disgust.
Ariel walked over and grabbed the bottle from her new husband and held it to her chest.
“Not messy Chad…perfect.”
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