Confessions of a 40-Year-Old Costume PA
As many of you know, I’ve been on a journey into the world of costume design for a few years now. I’ve been calling it my third act because I went to school (the first time) for Journalism and spent many years as an entertainment gossip blogger and music and fashion editor. My other job was in the world of ad sales as a corporate trainer and project manager. And as exhausted as I’d be from sitting at a computer for 12 hours, when I got home at the end of the day, all I wanted to do was write stories and sew.
So in in 2019, while sitting at a Macy’s Black History Month event honoring Ruth E. Carter (two weeks before her historic win at the Academy Awards) I finally realized what I wanted to do with my life…costume design.
So I went to a two year program at Los Angeles City College, most of which happened during a pandemic. I was accepted into the PACT (Production Assistant Costume Training) Program run by Local 705. And I started my first official job in costumes as a costume PA for the Head of the Class reboot on the Warner Brothers lot…at 40 years old.
How my age was a hindrance…
I started every day with a humility check. I had to remind myself that although I am older than most of the people I am working with/under, I am coming into this position with little on-the-job experience. I need to keep my eyes and ears open and my mouth shut. This wasn’t as easy as it might seem. I had to sometimes stop myself from talking mid-sentence. Just because I know a different way, doesn’t mean I need to share it all the time. STFU Lo! It’s not easy having someone you could have given birth to, give you attitude or be nasty with you (please note this NEVER happened with anyone on my team). This job taught me to literally bite my tongue.
My beloved golf cart that I crashed more times than I can count. Look, bumpers are there for a reason.
There’s also the physicality of the job. Although I’m a thicker doll and I make no bones about it, I consider myself really strong and relatively fit. But this job is tough and you’re constantly moving. Even with my compression socks, $150 comfort Sorels, 8 hours of sleep, morning stretches, protein shakes, I found myself constantly sore and exhausted.
So many packages to carry, open, unpack and document.
How my age was a help…
I may have not come with a sit ton of on-the-job experience. But I definitely brought life experience and professionalism to the job. My past project management experience has helped form me into an epic problem solver. Even when I run into problems or make mistakes (which happens often), I always present other options and solutions. I never say “Sorry, my bad.” Instead I say, “Sorry, here’s how I fixed it…” or “Sorry, can we try this to remedy that?...” or in situations where I’m at a loss, “Sorry, let me know the best way to turn this situation around.”
Also, I’ve got a sick knowledge of all things celebrity. So I can rattle off a person’s resume of work like nobody’s business. When everyone was wondering why pirates were roaming the lot, I’d already figured out that Taika Waititi was filming a pirate comedy a few stages down.
Got sword?
My years of work and life experience has also made it easier for me to let things roll off my back. In most cases when someone is snippy or short or even mean to you, it’s not personal. As long as the tense interaction isn’t disrespectful or HR meeting worthy, I keep it moving. I also have enough experience under my belt to tell the difference between someone having a bad day and someone being a racist asshole.
Speaking of the race thing…
I want to share an experience with you friends. I would like to preface this by saying that during my time on this show I didn’t experience any type of discrimination, racism or bias (that I know of). But I did have a disappointing experience with one of my own.
Very briefly I worked alongside another woman of color. What I am about to say about her is solely based on my professional experience with her. I don’t know her outside of this experience and I hope that had we met under different circumstances my opinion of her would be different.
This woman sad she had experience in the position, but her behavior said otherwise. In fact, her behavior told me that she was likely very young and immature. This isn’t a diss, it’s truth. She came with what I read as zero motivation, a lack of professionalism and an attitude. As a black woman it is very difficult to not be read as angry or attitudinal. But I think she has never been in a professional setting to understand how to read someone/set someone straight/stand up for yourself, while continuing to be professional. Her behavior saddened me and angered me. We women of color have it had enough without one of us leaning into the stereotypes that hang over us.
And I know what you’re saying, why didn’t you try to help her? Y’all, I did. I had several side conversations with her trying to understand her perspective, see where she was coming from, explain to her how to navigate the system. But she didn’t want my help. She, on several occasions, gave me attitude and tried to check me. When I wasn’t trying to help her, I was busy running around and fixing her mistakes. You can make mistakes. But you can’t make mistakes AND be stank about it.
Oh how I wish that experience could have gone differently. I think about it often and ask myself how I could have made it better. I’m still not sure. But I hope that I continue to approach situations like this with compassion and patience and don’t just curse a MF out. Cus that’s what I really wanted to do.
What I’ve learned…
Try to establish a work life balance that includes family time, self-care and boundaries.
Be clear about what you need from your team and the work life balance that you’ve established for yourself.
Ask for help when you’re struggling.
Develop systems, tricks and shortcuts that work for you.
Take advantage of early wrap times, crafty, perks and free shit.
Make yourself indispensable and be known for your heard work and trustworthiness.
Now THAT is what a wrapped cage looks like my friends.
And most importantly, don’t get stuck…especially if you’re my age. You don’t want to end up being a 60-year-old PA.
Special thanks to the instructors at LACC who helped prep me for this job, the folks at PACT who saw fit to include me in this program, Carey Bennett, Neil Tansey and the amazing costume team at Head of the Class who took a chance on this old lady and were open, honest, kind, and treated me with respect. I heart you all so much!